Thurston Howell III is emblazoned on the men's room door of the Yacht Club in Asheville.

Thurston Howell III is emblazoned on the men’s room door of the Yacht Club in Asheville.

The decor begins at the friendly portal to the men’s room with Thurston Howell III of Gilligan’s Island fame emblazoned on the door. Once inside things start getting rough. The dimly lit interior casts shadows on walls covered in a strange, dried goo and light fixtures tagged with graffiti. On the other side of Mr. Howell is graffiti galore. We love graffiti. We recognized the signature left by “Beef,” a tagger we’ve seen so often in Asheville crappers we feel a kinship with him. We travel in the same circles. In this case, one of the rings of hell. Yet, that’s okay as far as we’re concerned. This is a very interesting restroom. We’d rather visit one like this than a dozen sterile cookie-cutter restrooms. This establishment’s john has character and a sense of humor, which counts for a lot.  Decor = 6

While interesting and all that, The Yacht Club isn’t going to win the June Golden Plunger Award. This crapper was a hot mess when we entered it. There were used paper towels strewn on the floor. Let’s forget about the goo stains on the walls. Those were dry so that’s yesterday’s news. But, in the darkness of the room, one gets the suspicion there’s something else leaking somewhere unseen. Howell famously said, “If I can’t go first class, I won’t go at all.” Well, we had to pee pretty badly, so we didn’t abide Thurston’s motto.  Cleanliness = 4

The aforementioned tagged light-fixture is decor, but, in a “house-of-horrors sense,” it is an amenity here. The lighthearted Gilligan’s Island TV show theme on the outside of the room is turned into a 21st century dystopian nightmare on the inside. It is a thrill ride for the senses, and, in our book, that’s a jolly good amenity.  Amenities = 5

TOTAL = 14

Beef leaves his mark on the ceiling of the Yacht Club's men's room.

Beef leaves his mark on the ceiling of the Yacht Club’s men’s room.

 

The residue of some ooze that leaked down the walls of the men's room at The Yacht Club.

The residue of some ooze that leaked down the walls of the men’s room at The Yacht Club.

 

Asheville Public Toilet Trash Can

Overflowing bin in The Yacht Club’s men’s room.